Contest: The Joke’s On Us

As an accordion player, you’ve heard your fair share of ’em — today is the day to give back. In honor of April Fools Day, we’re opening the floodgates and holding an accordion joke contest. Share your favorite groaner and you could win something in the process.

To enter: Write a comment on this post and tell us your favorite accordion joke. One lucky joker — chosen at random — will receive a grab bag of Let’s Polka goodies. We can’t make any promises, but the package will likely include a mix of Let’s Polka stickers, albums from our collection, and whatever other squeeze-worthy goodies we have on hand.

The contest ends tonight at midnight, so start posting your jokes!

Update: Congratulations to our lucky winner, Ed Ploski! Thanks to everyone who contributed a joke!


  1. My favorite has to be the classic farside comic: Welcome to Heaven, here’s your harp / Welcome to Hell, here’s your accordion.

  2. What’s the difference between an onion and an accordion?

    Nobody cries when you chop an accordion.

  3. A combination of instruments joke I have liked:

    Q:If you simultaneously throw a bassoon and an accordion into a dumpster, which instrument will land first?

    A: Who cares?

  4. What do you call a group of topless female accordion players ?
    Ladies in pain !!!!

  5. What does a professional accordion player say when he’s on your doorstep?

    “Domino’s delivery!”

  6. What’s the definition of an extreme optimist?

    An accordion player with a pager.

  7. Jay Leno announced March 16 2006 that accordion players have been requested by the American Accordionists Association not to play “LADY OF SPAIN” to protest the Spanish withdrawal from Iraq.

  8. What is the sound of Perfect Pitch?
    Throwing an accordion into a dumpster and hearing it land on a banjo.

  9. How do you protect your valuables?

    Hide them in an accordion case.

  10. Who can play both sides against the middle?

    An accordion player

  11. “Accordions don’t play Lady of Spain, people do.”

  12. What do you call it when you throw 500 accordions into the ocean?

    A good start.

  13. What is the difference between an accordion player and a terrorist?

    Terrorists have sympathisers.

  14. I left my accordion in the back seat of my car at the mall and forgot to lock the doors. When I came back there were three accordions.

  15. Yep…I think we’ve heard ’em all, but please post them anyway, because you never know…we MIGHT have missed one! Here is my favorite…so far:

    Two accordion players walk past an open bar in Germany….well….it COULD happen!!

    OK…here’s another…What do you call 500 accordions at the bottom of the ocean??
    …..a good start…. (ouch!)

    OK…one more, then I’ll quit…
    What is the definition of perfect pitch?
    ….throwing an accordion into a dumpster without touching the sides.

    Well….we accordionists DO have a sense of humor..because we take the ribbing and the jokes, and haven’t shot anyone for telling them (…yet…) Keep up the good work…I love getting this every day! “Let’s Polka” rules!